Day 10 🌿 Is That Helping… Helping?

One of the great gifts of living in LA is having access to so many hiking trails. It’s a great way to get into nature, move your body, people watch, catch up with friends, and see the sunset.

But sometimes, even in the middle of the most beautiful day, you get a moment that makes you pause and think: Is that helping… really helping?

You know that moment.
You’re deep in the dish with your friend as they narrate the play-by-play of the latest drama. The energy is high. The emotions are real. And then it happens.

They reach for their phone with the most #OverheardInRunyon line ever:
“Oh, just let me read you the text.”

They are enraged. Heartbroken. Confused. And most of the time… not even remotely ready for a solution.

You lean in with your hard-earned wisdom. You offer perspective. You suggest a healthier angle. Your advice is met with resistance, polite nodding, or a half-hearted attempt to “take it in.” Sometimes they just shut down.

Because what they really wanted…
was to be heard.

So why do we do this?

In many ways, we are genuinely trying to help. But if fixing is our final answer, we may be missing a profound opportunity — for them and for ourselves.

Because sitting with someone’s pain can be incredibly uncomfortable.

This is a golden moment to pause and reflect.

What is it in us that feels so unsettled when someone we care about is struggling?
What does it stir? What does it mirror? What does it touch?

Because sometimes, our urge to fix is less about helping them…
and more about managing our own discomfort with pain, struggle, or perceived weakness.

JOURNAL

When was a time in your life when you were having big feelings and were told to “move on,” “get over it,” or “be strong” while you were still hurting? When did you have to stuff your feelings down? What happened as a result?
What does it mean to you to be someone who is in pain? Someone who is struggling? Someone who is, in your words, “losing”?
What does it mean to you to be associated with someone who is in pain or struggling?

DREAM WORK

Before bed, write on a piece of paper:

“To the one who knows, please reveal to me in a dream tonight a time when I felt I had to squash my feelings — and help me heal this.”

Place it near your bed. Let your subconscious do the work.

This is heart chakra work in real life.
Not fixing. Not rescuing. Not rushing.
But staying. Witnessing. Allowing. Healing.
Letting love be safe, spacious, and present — even when things are messy.

As you go to bed tonight, place your hand on your heart and take several slow, deep breaths. 😴

I love you. Keep going!