Day 11 ❍ Clearing Toxic Ties

As we complete our exploration of the Heart Chakra today, we take a powerful step: clearing toxic ties and starting fresh. This is an opportunity to re-center ourselves and refine our intentions.

To begin, we return to a foundational practice that connects us to who we are and guides us toward our purpose in life: defining our values.

  • What are your values?

  • What are you loyal to, and does it align with those values?

  • Are there any parts of you still loyal to toxic ties?  Who/what are they?

Take time this weekend to let these questions guide you. Write down your values and place them somewhere visible. Awareness of these answers can serve as a compass for your path forward.

The Parable of the Second Arrow

In his teachings, the Buddha shared The Parable of the Second Arrow, offering guidance on how to navigate suffering more skillfully. He described how whenever we encounter misfortune—be it an unexpected event, illness, or any extreme difficulty—two arrows are thrown our way.

The first arrow is pain: it comes from the event itself, and yes, it hurts deeply. The second arrow is suffering: this is the pain caused by our reaction to what has happened.

Unlike the first arrow, which is inevitable, the second arrow embeds itself in us through unresolved emotions, lingering thoughts, or habitual reactions. The bleed of suffering can become chronic, shaping our lives indefinitely. However, through awareness, we gain the ability to recognize the second arrow and begin the process of healing—and seeking the necessary support to process.

Grief vs. Suffering

While grief may look like suffering, it’s actually a profound part of our human development in how we process loss. Grief deserves care, compassion and gentle awareness.  Think of the emotion of pain (first arrow) like paint spilling across a floor. The movement of that paint (or emotional pain) pools. It takes time to settle. We clean it up as best we can, but grief paints an impression that lingers within us—a testament to our capacity to love.

This doesn’t mean we are suffering; it means our hearts are still beating. With mindful practices, we can honor these feelings as they arise, harmonizing the energy field of the heart chakra.

What can we do about the Second Arrow?
Taking action—helping others, offering support, and leaning into community—is a powerful way to step out of the path of the second arrow. It opens the heart space and reinforces our resilience. In cases where the second arrow is deeply embedded, seeking professional help or joining support groups can also be vital forms of self-care, providing the guidance and resources we need to heal from the wound of the second arrow.

As we honor our grief, release toxic ties, and stand firmly in our values, we grow loyal to ourselves , our heart, and the life we want to live.

ACTIONS

  • Cord Cutting for Suffering
    Take a hot bath or find a comforting space for yourself. Call to mind the suffering you are releasing now. Imagine a funnel-like cord moving from your heart, out of your body, to the energy of suffering. Imagine your index and middle finger like a pair of scissors. Take your ‘scissor fingers’ and cut the cord. Take about ten deep breaths: mouth open, audible exhalations.

  • Cord Cutting for Toxic Ties
    Take a hot bath or find a comforting space for yourself. Call to mind the toxic tie you are releasing now. Imagine a funnel-like cord moving from your heart, out of your body, to the energy of your toxic tie. Imagine your index and middle finger like a pair of scissors. Take your ‘scissor fingers’ and cut the cord. Take about ten deep breaths: mouth open, audible exhalations.

  • Help Others
    Find a way to volunteer your support to those in need. Put it on your calendar for this week and invite someone to join you.


JOURNAL

  • Write down your top ten values. What three values do you feel most connected to today, and why?

  • Do your values align with your toxic ties in question?

  • Write a good-bye letter to your suffering.
    For example:
    Thank you for being with me. I now know that I am okay without holding onto this feeling of suffering anymore. I release you now.

I love you.  Keep going!

“Be with those who help your being. ”
— Rumi

RECIPE INSPO 🤍 Heart Healthy & Delicious!

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