Day 6 ❍ Spiritual Celery
We can do all the things — juice the celery, eat organic, get on the mat, breath right, scrape the tongue, chant om, roll up the mat and then bam. Life happens. That fucker isn’t doing the thing they should be doing. This situation isn’t happening the way it should be. What do you mean he might get elected? Yes, honey you use soap to wash the dishes!
The reaction of self-righteousness bears its roots in our primal need for survival. But it’s often not productive and misses the mark of solution. It can bleed a stain of toxic energy into our body. During a storm of self-righteousness, we might push people away rather than help them lean in so that we find common ground. We sow division in our personal relationships, in our families, and in our world rather than unity. And the irony is that we can think we are better than other people because we have a spiritual practice. Whereas at the level of the soul, we are all connected.
Dialing down the protective layer of self-righteousness can feel risky. As if we are saying something is okay when in fact, it’s not. But that’s not necessarily true. I recall an interview with Dylan Marron that completely captivated me. He created a podcast called ‘Conversations with People Who Hate Me.’ In the interview, he talked about the importance of separating a person from their hateful behavior. He even created a mantra for himself: “empathy is not endorsement.”
On the other side of self-righteousness, we have empathy and equanimity lying out poolside. But, how do we have equanimity in the face of personal and global disasters? In the face of loved ones, partners and friends who did it wrong today? In the face of strangers who should surely not be driving — or having conversations on speaker phone while in the stall of a public bathroom?!
As right as we might be in any given situation, the body won’t discern this information. And so the uprising of self righteousness embeds its toxic energy in us especially if we play it out on repeat. The problem isn’t really that we feel self-righteous so much as the perpetuation and re-inventing of our story around self-righteousness. The inciting moment when self-righteousness comes over us can actually be really instructive if we pause and name it: 'A part of my security feels threatened or inconvenienced.' Now, what can we do? Pause more. ‘Ugh'. Well, at least, don’t send the email… yet. 'Save as draft' for sure. Calling friends to commiserate can feel helpful. But, it can also be a slippery slope before you land in the poison of gossip.
Why do so many things that are bad for us feel so good?
Like most things. This is not a one and done. Self-righteousness will likely rear it’s ugly head again. After a row and feeling so right (with a superior high from doing breathwork), you might want to chew a little hard on your spiritual celery. Or we try this instead. Take a deep breath, (maybe scream into a pillow), name it, pause, and possibly re-direct yourself — and transform the course of your path. At the end of the day, our soul seeks unity. We have no idea what happened in Act I of another person's life. Perhaps their paw is caught in a trap.
PRACTICE TOOLS
Practice Box Breathing. Inhale 4 counts, hold 4, exhale 4, hold empty 4.
Name what feeling you are having and where it is in your body.
Practice ‘metta’ - an offering of loving kindness and security in our world globally on a regular basis.
If prayer is a part of your practice, pray for the other person at the level of their soul. If the person is someone violent or harming, pray that the person has an inner surrender.
JOURNAL
Write about ways that you feel superior or self-righteous.
Has it helped you?
Write out any fears and then write out how it would feel to not be in fear.
What would happen if you let go of self-righteousness?
ACCOUNTABILITY
Identify an area or person where you are willing to commit to a living amends around being self righteousness. When the urge comes up, pause.
What ‘content’ are you taking in by choice on a regular basis? What do you listen to and read? Who do you listen to? Does it feed the vein of self-righteousness?
Do you have certain friends you ONLY call to puff up about things? Is that your primary way to bond with them? What are some other ways you can create authentic connections?
For real, y’all — Tomorrow is the most important class to come to! 10:30am Yoga (bring your balls)!
I love you. Keep going!
RECIPE INSPO
This salad is a Farmer’s Market dream come true! The prep is simple if you have a system in place. So if you are heading to the market this weekend, pick up some nicoise ingredients. You will be able to use them. Get extra haricot verts and pair that with wild salmon or grilled chicken for dinner one night.