A Path With Heart at 50

Years ago, during my first teacher training, I was first introduced to Jack Kornfield’s book ‘A Path With Heart.’  It was required reading and being a slow & distracted reader, I was happy to find something that fully drew me in.  Now, eighteen years later, I find myself a student in Jack’s Mindful Meditation program.  In one of our first lessons, he referenced something that struck me deep as I just turned fifty a few weeks ago.  It is a quote from Don Juan, in his teachings to Carlos Castaneda:

Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself and yourself alone one question. This question is one that only a very old man asks. My benefactor told me about it once when I was young and my blood was too vigorous for me to understand it. Now I do understand it. I will tell you what it is: 

Does this path have a heart? 

If it does, the path is good. 

If it doesn’t, it is of no use.

Now at the turning point of turning fifty, I paused and wondered… should I really tell people my age? And then I got clear.  When I think about being open and honest about my age, I feel freedom. To deny a single day I have lived feels like a betrayal.  Like I'm denying a part of myself. And I want to feel free -- even if it comes with consequences. 

In the pause, I thought:  If I tell people I’m fifty, will that affect my work?  Certainly, years ago pursuing acting, I was always cagey about my age.  But, even in the wholesome industry of yoga, yes, my fiends, agism exists.  There are brands that don’t partner with teachers over forty.  But, one of the blessings during these last fifty weeks since we began our first quarantine is that I still get to teach and I managed to build a thriving teaching life.   So when I thought about the limitations that outing my age might bring when I could simply filter myself younger so to speak, I thought f&ck that.  I want to align with myself and brands that hold similar values. 

We can all flip the narrative on what it means to grow older.  Starting off the year with the Yoga Body Cleanse was the most powerful reset for me personally and as teacher.  I look forward to our April cleanse!   I love the marriage of yoga, mediation and nutrition as the perfect cocktail to keep me high.  So I feel my path has heart.  And if I can share these teachings and create a ripple effect in any way, that is what gets me out of bed in the morning.